this week has been a bit shit if I’m completly honest.
- my brother and his girlfriend had a car accident at the weekend. (they are both ok)
- The hospital they were in was the same as when my granny had her stroke and it just brought up a lot of sadness that i had managed to smoosh down into a cupboard in my brain.
- I’m stressing about selling the house and its only been on the market for 2 days
- I have the mother of all coldsores that is literally weeping down my chin, never experienced one like this before.
- My skin has turned into a grease pit.
- More stupid non period period.
- I want to eat all the food in the world but also want to do well at weigh in.
All of this crappery has let my anxiety start to sneak back in. Nothing major but i am really aware of it. Little thoughts of bad things happening and not being able to let go of the ‘what ifs’
My plan of action is to just have a little time of nothingness, this always helps me feel calmer. I’m not filming any videos (thankfully I have a few prefilmed) and will just be writing when or if I feel like it. I’ve actully started writing a book and it is helping me to relax and switch off. I’m going to be makeup free for a few days to try and let my skin reclaim the balance and stop being hideous, and I’m not gonna worry about food and am sacking off weigh in this week.
I am also going to try and focus on the good things.
- the kids are safe and happy.
- We are starting to search for our forever home and are very fortunate to be able to do it.
- Me, Ben, the girls and our family and friends are healthy.
There was no real point to this post but this is why i originally started this blog nearly 6 years ago, as an online diary of sorts, just getting things out of my head and onto a page always makes me feel better.