so my YouTube channel has nearly got 1000 subscribers which is both incredible and scary at the same time.
I haven’t told many people in real time life, like friends who I see with my human eyes into their human eyes not via a computer about me having a channel. I think the reason why is because I am expecting them to laugh at me and think that I am obviously the world’s largest twat for thinking anyone would want to watch me rambling about makeup.
initially I didn’t want any real friends to know but I ended up telling a couple. their reactions were good. they didn’t laugh (well not to my face anyway). recently I’ve got a little braver and started mentioning it to more friends and again the response has been nice. I explained to my friend caveman (yes that’s his name) that doing youtube has helped my anxiety and depression so much, I feel like a different person to before I started.
if anyone out there reading this wants to start a channel or a blog because you feel lonely or sad or depressed or anxious, but you are doubting yourself please don’t, you can do it. I did it and it has changed my life for the better. even if you don’t tell real life friends, tell me. I’ll read your blog or watch your channel.
anyway back to telling people. I think when/if I reach 1000 subscribers I will tell my real life friends. I am so scared to do this but I’m now thinking if they don’t support me then they probably aren’t my real friends. I’m proud of me. my family are proud of me and I really hope my friends will be proud of me.
this was super soppy bollocks and I didn’t swear at all.
fuck yeah. Go me 😍